My curse really is a gift from God! 

Last night my son as suppose to be in bed. I was watching a show on my lap top and put it on pause so I could use the bathroom. 

I heard sounds through the door and then I heard a panic voice that yelled my name to come quick. I ran out of my bathroom a just barely caught my dresser from falling on top of my toddler. 

The lap top on my bed illuminated light on top of my dresser where his toy turtle was sitting when he tossed it in the air hours earlier. Being the independent child who he is assumed he could get it himself with no harm. 

I realize that this gift I have called a curse for so long really is a gift from God. About 4 weeks ago I started hearing disembodied voices when before I could only hear spirit in my head(it’s hard to explain). 
It’s woman has been coming to me and I have been sending her away because I didn’t want it but last night that spirit is why my son is unharmed and driving me crazy today. 

I am so blessed, and later I will connect with this woman to see what it is that she wants. I owe her that much.  

Intentions

I am a nice person. Never had to think about why a person would go out of their way to meet you if the are introducing themselves out of good intent, or if they subconsciously have other objectives. So far in life I have had people in my life that was only associated with me out of intention how I could benefit them. Don’t get me wrong, I love to help someone and show an act of kindness especially for someone that has never experienced or never had anyone be kind to them before in life.

It wasn’t until recently I told myself “I need to learn how to be selfish!” Little did I know being selfish and having self-care is two different things. I am learning to put myself first, so I can make sure I and healthy in mind body and spirit so I can my a more loving and healthy environment for my self and my son!

I am my son’s only parent. Yes his father is now back in his life again however he walked out on us not once but twice and that was out of a selfish act. Now that he is paying child support he feels entitled. He asked me when I was going to change Jaxon’s last name, then started to ask me about claiming him for income taxes. He owes a lot of money for his first born and now wants to claim my son to help pay off his balance for child number one after he never did anything for child number 3 until it was court ordered. This was just all in one month. Makes me think he had an intention along. All I can do is take a deep breath and exhale slowly. I have acknowledged the situation and gave it to the Universe to handle it. The Universe and God  will take care of him while I focus on the gift take God has blessed me with and make sure my little one has a proper up bringing.

My eyes are open and my head is now clear. I will also allow my heart to remain open and not close for I am a believer. I would like to believe that not everyone that comes into my life is an opportunist. I will like to believe that people that comes into my life  is looking for an option for more opportunity for personal growth. however again my eyes are open and my head is clear and my heart knows what move I need to make next.

 

Thank you

Learning My History

A few weeks ago I began to have random spirits that started to appear and call me “Daughter of Jacob” I was so confused by this Black man that wears a Jewish hat. He just sat there smiling with his bright white teeth and advised me it’s time for our descendants to awaken and find out who we really are!

Days had passed and later I just decided to open my Bible at the beginning of the book and it read of the 12 children of Jacob who is also Israel and how he is the father of the Negros who is black? Moses lead the 12 tribes to freedom and every one was black? I’m beginning to piece together the puzzles and when it describes the people in them they are all black including Jesus.

All of these year my Grandmother kept a Black Jesus on her wall and through out the house but when I go to other people homes their Jesus is white with blue eyes. Reading the Bible when they describe Jesus return his feet into fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace. So I began to read more, and found out more of these people black, the people spoke of in this Bible is all black! So of course being who I am I am going to do some more digging!

Wish me luck on looking into my real history and not the one that starts out with my ancestors as slaves!
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Love with an Open Heart! (Re-post)

Years ago I posted on my other blog about Loving with an open heart. It was really inspirational and I wanted to share.

cosmic-consciousness-2

Hello and good fortune to you all! Today is just today it can be like no other if you will like it to be like no other day.

We choose the setting tone of what our is like and so forth. Someone could be having a bad day and could lash out at you and try to make it negative or it could just be a cry for help. Just exactly what is that person reason saying. Empathize with that person. Open your arms show them your heart and give them a hug, and whisper in their ear “Everything will be alright!”

At that moment that person could embrace back and release resentment, anger, pain, suffering, sadness, and etc… There is a possibility you may have been that person’s first hug since the new year or a long time in 6 months. We as human beings need personal contact. It’s how we show God’s love within one another.

With today’s society we have been taught showing affection can be frowned upon and is an act of weakness. It is actually apart of are DNA code and something we should focus on bringing back. It is one of the reason why we as human beings are so disconnected not only from each other but also from ourselves.

How many people do you actually know that refer to them-self as Human or someone who co-exist with them-self as a Human-Being (Vessel & Spirit)?

Emotions can say a lot about a person. Some people can tend to take it personal and make it ” It’s the all about me show!” or you can have a care and listen with your heart and open it with your arms and just welcome a friend in and let God do the rest. Trust me it’s the best feeling in the world.

Love with an open heart!

Today Down, Ready for Tomorrow

Today was a flop, a very big flop. I went to good ole Corporate America and had a classic asthma attack at work! So far for my come back .

After being sick for weeks and just thinking how I we are going to make it through the year depresses me. I could just easily make a large withdraw from a trust but what will that teach me? And most of all, what kind of example will I be making for my son.

I really don’t know what I want anymore!!! I’m psychic but what good is it to be gifted when I can’t see what is coming my way! Frustrating as hell.

How my gift works with some kind of or type of guidance is when I make a decision and it is the right direction I’m choosing, I get an overwhelming feel of joy and excitement. I literally feel like I have to rush into whatever idea just popped into my head. So when I got this leave them in my dust and take no prisoners, I got super excited to return back to work and take my rightful place as one of the K performers! With me taking no prisoners, I don’t care who gets left behind anymore. With me caring it jeopardizes my livelihood.

I could easily do readings and have strangers coming to my door at 3 am crying about an emergency reading like I have no life to sleep for, but that was where I drew the line. Now I have a take charge attitude and it’s time to just kill it and get my ass back into to pumps!

 

Thank you for reading my single Mom problems

Namaste

Being me, a psychic

I use to cringe at the word “Psychic”! I hated being referred as one and I use to roll my eyes when people referred to my abilities as a super power. I don’t see myself as a person with super powers, I see myself as a person that was born with extra sensors that a normal person wouldn’t be able to identify or relate with.

I have been seeing shadow people who are spirits more than usual, smelling shit and flesh decay in random places around my home and hearing a child running around which I realized when I finally saw him, he is my son Casperrie. I had a Miscarriage and Jaxon was the other baby, the twin that survived the miscarriage. I see have been seeing my Grandmother since she passed away in September 2014. In the morning of her passing she came to me and her exact words was ” I am free!” When I dropped wall (because I am always in block mode but shit still slip through) she was an incredible force of energy! She was beautiful, standing there looking younger than myself (30 something) , happy and in good health. My grandmother was psychic as well. She is always on such a clear frequency that I never mistake or misinterpret what she is  saying. Her first hour of passing on she gave me a nose bleed and she was quite pleased about it. She was already a natural at being a departed. Her smile and her gesture, it made my grieving for her a lot easier.

The other day I pulled out her picture and my son Jaxon yelp out with excitement and said look Mommy, it’s Grandma! I looked outside the window looking for my Mother but my Mother was no where around. I looked back over at him and he was holding her picture showing me my grandmother, his great-grandmother. My son was 8 months old when my Gran passed on. He actually took his first step at her bedside. The look on his face and the grin of excitement. I know she was already standing there in front of him with her arms outs as she was still attached to her vessel. This part of my gift is where I see the blessings of it. My Gran is a nosy woman and she is in everyone’s business and making dreams come true from the other side.

This is my normal, this is my life. I see spirits, pick up on other person’s thought and feelings like they are my own. I can feel things about to happen before it does happen and it is weird for me! I don’t make money using my gift but it does make me great at my job in Corporate America! My manager knows when she needed to understand that what I do can’t be taught to my other team mates. I do feel good about someone backing me up when I do something unexplained. I laugh when she tells me to do my normal.

Thank you for reading….

Valentine’s Day Awaking Moment

With Valentine’s Day being two days away I thought I would look at cards to give my Valentine. While standing in the card aisle I realized how uncomfortable and sad I have become by just reading the damn things. I picked up one card and it read about “being grateful and how love you have shown and given me” and that’s when it happened. realization that I can’t buy my Valentine a card because my Valentine does not love me. He can’t love me because he will never allow it because he is to busy hating himself. I have no business being in a relationship with a person who will never grow or learn to love me and never him until he learns to love himself and be done with self hatred.

A person can’t buy a Valentine Day card if that person don’t love them. Having more of a clear picture of the situation, I feel I could no longer be in a relationship where the feeling isn’t mutual. Don’t ever settle because you think or believe this is as good as it gets because it isn’t. Someone out there will know and see your worth through all their pain and anguish. Maybe just maybe you can’t shine bright enough to lead them out of the dark and into the light but our jobs as a loving partner  shouldn’t be the clean up or fixer”. if they think it is because “we love them” then we are being taken advantage and being taken along the selfish ride of self adsorb. I can’t and won’t continue now that I see the truth.

Thank you for reading…