From lost to new insight 

On January 21th of this year I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. 

I started this new year optimistic with the thought and idea of a beautiful new blessing after a storm and I lost my baby. 

Four week prior too her lost, I felt assured and worry free after seeing her there and hearing her heart beat. I relaxed and allowed myself to become excited. However earlier during the week of the miscarriage my little darling came to me and I felt heat in my womb and felt the energy that resided within leave my body. 

She told me her name was Alana and she couldn’t be born in this vessel because the life she is purposes for wouldn’t succeed in the body that was growing inside of me. In other words her life would be short lived due to a disease that would have shorted her lifetime. 

I understood but it still hurt like hell. She was a life with a life force. Even with having a few days to mentally prepare myself, I still took her leaving me hard. It just goes to show that even being a born psychic medium with the abilities to heal, I still suffer and endure what everyone else experiences in life because I too am a spiritual being having a human experience. 

For all the Mother’s out there that have had miscarriages my heart goes out to you and just know it’s going to be okay. It’s not silly that the lost follows heart on your heart after so many years has past. It was a lost of a love one, you lost your baby and that child was a life that existed. No matter how far along you was it was still a lost of life as hope and possibilities. 

I share this with you only because I felt ashamed and like I failed and many thoughts have passed my mind of “if I had done something different because it was something that was out of my control. Things in life will happen that will be out of your control but don’t focus on the things you can’t control but know your limitations and worry about things you do have control of. 

I couldn’t bare the thought of discarding her remains as medical waste so instead I placed her in a container in this Peace Lilly Plant ( that has been repotted) as a resting place. 

I love you, thank you and namaste 

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