Last night my son as suppose to be in bed. I was watching a show on my lap top and put it on pause so I could use the bathroom.
I heard sounds through the door and then I heard a panic voice that yelled my name to come quick. I ran out of my bathroom a just barely caught my dresser from falling on top of my toddler.
The lap top on my bed illuminated light on top of my dresser where his toy turtle was sitting when he tossed it in the air hours earlier. Being the independent child who he is assumed he could get it himself with no harm.
I realize that this gift I have called a curse for so long really is a gift from God. About 4 weeks ago I started hearing disembodied voices when before I could only hear spirit in my head(it’s hard to explain).
It’s woman has been coming to me and I have been sending her away because I didn’t want it but last night that spirit is why my son is unharmed and driving me crazy today.
I am so blessed, and later I will connect with this woman to see what it is that she wants. I owe her that much.
I am a nice person. Never had to think about why a person would go out of their way to meet you if the are introducing themselves out of good intent, or if they subconsciously have other objectives. So far in life I have had people in my life that was only associated with me out of intention how I could benefit them. Don’t get me wrong, I love to help someone and show an act of kindness especially for someone that has never experienced or never had anyone be kind to them before in life.
It wasn’t until recently I told myself “I need to learn how to be selfish!” Little did I know being selfish and having self-care is two different things. I am learning to put myself first, so I can make sure I and healthy in mind body and spirit so I can my a more loving and healthy environment for my self and my son!
I am my son’s only parent. Yes his father is now back in his life again however he walked out on us not once but twice and that was out of a selfish act. Now that he is paying child support he feels entitled. He asked me when I was going to change Jaxon’s last name, then started to ask me about claiming him for income taxes. He owes a lot of money for his first born and now wants to claim my son to help pay off his balance for child number one after he never did anything for child number 3 until it was court ordered. This was just all in one month. Makes me think he had an intention along. All I can do is take a deep breath and exhale slowly. I have acknowledged the situation and gave it to the Universe to handle it. The Universe and God will take care of him while I focus on the gift take God has blessed me with and make sure my little one has a proper up bringing.
My eyes are open and my head is now clear. I will also allow my heart to remain open and not close for I am a believer. I would like to believe that not everyone that comes into my life is an opportunist. I will like to believe that people that comes into my life is looking for an option for more opportunity for personal growth. however again my eyes are open and my head is clear and my heart knows what move I need to make next.