Being me, a psychic

I use to cringe at the word “Psychic”! I hated being referred as one and I use to roll my eyes when people referred to my abilities as a super power. I don’t see myself as a person with super powers, I see myself as a person that was born with extra sensors that a normal person wouldn’t be able to identify or relate with.

I have been seeing shadow people who are spirits more than usual, smelling shit and flesh decay in random places around my home and hearing a child running around which I realized when I finally saw him, he is my son Casperrie. I had a Miscarriage and Jaxon was the other baby, the twin that survived the miscarriage. I see have been seeing my Grandmother since she passed away in September 2014. In the morning of her passing she came to me and her exact words was ” I am free!” When I dropped wall (because I am always in block mode but shit still slip through) she was an incredible force of energy! She was beautiful, standing there looking younger than myself (30 something) , happy and in good health. My grandmother was psychic as well. She is always on such a clear frequency that I never mistake or misinterpret what she is  saying. Her first hour of passing on she gave me a nose bleed and she was quite pleased about it. She was already a natural at being a departed. Her smile and her gesture, it made my grieving for her a lot easier.

The other day I pulled out her picture and my son Jaxon yelp out with excitement and said look Mommy, it’s Grandma! I looked outside the window looking for my Mother but my Mother was no where around. I looked back over at him and he was holding her picture showing me my grandmother, his great-grandmother. My son was 8 months old when my Gran passed on. He actually took his first step at her bedside. The look on his face and the grin of excitement. I know she was already standing there in front of him with her arms outs as she was still attached to her vessel. This part of my gift is where I see the blessings of it. My Gran is a nosy woman and she is in everyone’s business and making dreams come true from the other side.

This is my normal, this is my life. I see spirits, pick up on other person’s thought and feelings like they are my own. I can feel things about to happen before it does happen and it is weird for me! I don’t make money using my gift but it does make me great at my job in Corporate America! My manager knows when she needed to understand that what I do can’t be taught to my other team mates. I do feel good about someone backing me up when I do something unexplained. I laugh when she tells me to do my normal.

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Valentine’s Day Awaking Moment

With Valentine’s Day being two days away I thought I would look at cards to give my Valentine. While standing in the card aisle I realized how uncomfortable and sad I have become by just reading the damn things. I picked up one card and it read about “being grateful and how love you have shown and given me” and that’s when it happened. realization that I can’t buy my Valentine a card because my Valentine does not love me. He can’t love me because he will never allow it because he is to busy hating himself. I have no business being in a relationship with a person who will never grow or learn to love me and never him until he learns to love himself and be done with self hatred.

A person can’t buy a Valentine Day card if that person don’t love them. Having more of a clear picture of the situation, I feel I could no longer be in a relationship where the feeling isn’t mutual. Don’t ever settle because you think or believe this is as good as it gets because it isn’t. Someone out there will know and see your worth through all their pain and anguish. Maybe just maybe you can’t shine bright enough to lead them out of the dark and into the light but our jobs as a loving partner  shouldn’t be the clean up or fixer”. if they think it is because “we love them” then we are being taken advantage and being taken along the selfish ride of self adsorb. I can’t and won’t continue now that I see the truth.

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How did I get here? 

Trying to figure out how did I get here? 

Being in the year of 2013 I had it all figured out. Teaching yoga and guidance meditation and healing (laying on hands) whenever I got a call! I felt I was for filling my purpose and my calling. 

That same year I conceived and beautiful little boy and gave birth. When I was planning on moving out of the country. I chose motherhood. I felt this was going to be my only chance at it. Later I started to feel I was losing myself in motherhood. I was having a petty party for myself, but then I saw it. 

A sick dog walked up to my son and intuitively he laid his tiny toddler hands on this yorkie name Angel and she just received and smiled. I then realized I am still for filling my purpose. I have been blessed with a mini me. 

It just goes to show that just because life turns a curve ball doesn’t mean you have lost your purpose in life. I have been on the correct path all this time. I just have to embrace the changes that comes with it. 

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